The most important lessons I have learnt in the last 3 months

 In July something very big happened to me I got married :)!! Has it been life changing yes it has. This happens to most people and its been hard at times but I am glad to say the end journey and where I am now has most definitely been worth it!!

I also decided to become a full-time freelance careers adviser and run my own business since August. has this been easy most definitely no!! However after much deliberation I realized if I didn't give this a go I would um regret it a bit!! So these are some the things I have learnt about life,relationships and business and wanted to share this with you!!

1. Patience is a virtue- There have been numerous times were I have wanted to give up!! I have been putting in a lot of time and effort to build this business it still has a way to go. Am honestly realising though if I am not patient and hurry things that won't help the situation either. A lot of hard work is required not only in someone's career but also in life it's self. I am realising the more I say "Good things come to those who wait" it will. Rome wasn't built in a day and whatever journey I am meant to go on with my career it will happen. I need to keep believing in myself and know it will take time its not something that is going to happen over night. In fact I have had some business. It doesn't mean I can declare I am some high flying business woman still have a long way to go. I honestly don't think its about that well not for me anyway. Its about me having a steadfast base of clients who trust me and want to work with me. So that I can share with them knowledge of how they can get to where they want to go :)!! As well as be really happy about the work I do!!

2. Hard work all the way - Working hard is required in everything in life. Especially if like me you decide to work for yourself!! I do have days where I honestly have no motivation :(!! This isn't because I don't believe in what I am doing. It's because I wonder maybe I should quit and go back to that 9-5 routine job I had. Then that voice inside of me reminds me why I am not there!! It wasn't because of the work it was because It was like being in a  a shell where I  felt constricted. Due to managers,office politics, bitchy co workers etc. I have never been afraid of hard work but realising more and more if you are your own boss you need to work hard to in business too!!

3..Learning from others - I think we can all learn something from everyone we know. We need to be open minded about this and try and take on board what we can learn. What can I learn from the people I already know lots!! They all have different personalities,jobs, experiences etc. Some of them are teachers,business people,managers etc. They have loads of skills and I think its important to appreciate people once in while and say you know what you are really "good at .....". I am noticing the more I embrace people's positive energy the more fired up I get about achieving and doing what I want to.

4. Communication is key- Without Communication you can't survive in a healthy relationship whether this be with a spouse, friend or family member. Sometimes its a good to tell someone you care for exactly what you think even if it may not like what they hear. The more you communicate with those you love and like the more I think people want to be around you. You can also be a positive influence on someone if you communicate with them in an encouraging way. We all have bad days but for me if I am able to support someone and just listen to them and help them a bit I feel so much better for this

5. Ignorance isn't always bliss- Sometimes not being told things isn't always a good thing. I am noticing sometimes when people don't tell the truth this doesn't do anyone any favours. I have many friends and family who get themselves in sticky situations and they sometimes have no idea what they are getting themselves into. I am not saying I am always aware of if something is happening to me but if I needed to be told something I would want people to tell me!! Ignorance to me isn't bliss I think its better to have the all the truth,knowledge and good advice you can get. If you don't you could be missing out and I think if we live our live to the fullest and try to take on board as much as can. Think of the film "Yes Man" its a silly film but wasn't Jim Carey's character more fulfilled towards the end of the film. This shows if you are more adventurous and are told the truth etc your lack of ignorance will empower you!!

6. Always be true to yourself - This is a really important lesson to me. My family, husband  and friends always encourage me to be true to who I am. If anyone knows me I can't stand fake people. In fact fake in-genuine people really annoy me !! If you can't be true to yourself you need to ask yourself what is missing and why are doubting who you are. We all have good and bad qualities but you need to believe in yourself. I remember someone saying to me once "learn to love yourself before you find the love of your life". Thankfully for me my husband has helped me get there. I do think its important to always be you, don't try and be someone your not people will always see through this. The more true and faithful you are to yourself the more you will attract like minded folk!!

7. Negativity is their problem not yours!!- I have met a lot of mighty negative people and the first thing I think about is why are they that way!! When I was a lot younger this really puzzled me and I kept thinking about maybe its something I am doing or perhaps they just don't like me. Then I had a bit of reality check when I started working and realised a lot of people who behave negatively well they have some mighty deep issues. They may not want to face them and that is why they take it out on others. If they are negative about you in particular or try to put you down maybe they feel that's the only way they can feel better about themselves. Well lets face it that's not really nice now is it? So ask yourselves if its really worth you wasting your time thinking about such people. Properly not so if they are negative its their problem not yours. The way I deal with this now is I nod, ignore their comments and then focus on what I need to keep doing!! 

8. Don't judge others- Judgement is something which everyone does!! I do this yes but the main lesson I have learnt about this is no one likes to be judged either. Unfortunately for every nice person out there is there is always a nasty judgemental person too! The main thing I have learnt about this is I try not to judge other people's situations and decisions its there life right. I also think about if people are in a difficult situation I wouldn't want them talking about me like that if the situation was reversed. Judgement is something we all have to live with but its how we handle it that matters. So next time someone judges your situation ignore it if you can. Their words may offend or hurt you but don't let them break you. 

9 Forgiveness.- We all make mistakes and sometimes we mess up either majorly or minorly!! The main thing about this is if we admit what we did was wrong we can move on. Unfortunately if you make a mistake in a friendship or relationship depending on the other person they don't always forgive. I have been in this situation a few times. It made me angry at first and sometimes bitter then I realised if they can't forgive that's more to do with them then you. If you are able to forgive you can move on and wipe the slate clean. Sometimes forgetting is the harder part and if this is case you have to ask yourself why can't you forget!! Everyone has there own personal limit of what is too much and if this happens talk to the person before, well we have all done it have a major bust up!!

These are some of lessons I have learnt and keep embracing in my life and along this journey of life. 

If you any comments please email me at sgcareers27@yahoo.com or follow me on twitter at @sgcareers27

What I love most in the world!!

Its been a while since I wrote a personal blog but thought its about time I did!!

If you know me personally you will know these are some of the things I absloulty love but if not please read below. 

1. Music its the essence of life listening to it makes everything seem better and it gives us hope,inspiration and keeps us going!! Listening to music I love makes me smile and always makes me feel better!!

2. Family and Friends - My family and friends are very important to me they never give up on me and help me believe in myself even when I don't!! Having a loving family is so important and although they drive me crazy at times I would be lost without them too!! My true friends have always been a constant thing in my life and for that I am eternally grateful :)!! Also someone very important has entered my life recently lol my husband!! He always supports me,listens and doesn't judge me!! Think would truly be lost without him :)!!

3. Flims -. There is something about watching your favorite film or a really good movie. Especially if you watch a feel good film it gives you some time to forgot about a bad day and focus on the good things in your life. I especially love to watch movies when I am ill it always makes me feel better. Some of my favorite feel good films and yes some of them a bit old but its the oldies that are usually the best lol!! Back to future,Up, As good as it gets, Enchanted, Jerry Maguire,School of Rock, The Apartment, Tangled, Short circuit, Big, I love you Man,Little Miss Sunshine, Pleasantville, Untouchable,Stand by Me,When Harry met Sally,Dead poets society, The Breakfast club, Shawshank Redemption and Amelie.

4. Careers and empolyablity- These are two things which I am really passionate about!! I want everyone to have a career and job they really love and enjoy what they do. Don't just do a job because thats what society expects from you!! Do it because you want to and you truely love it everyday!! I think its important for all of us to help not just the youth out there but everyone out there about employablity. If you have gone on the empolyablity jounrey its important to share some of the things that you did or infact the mistakes you may of made perphaps this will help other people who need or want a job!! These two things are a passion for me and anyone who hasn't visited my careers blog and site yet please do so!!

I started my blog with the mission of helping others get careers information in an accessible way. Please visit this site www.careerscanbefun.blogspot.com. After this I also developed my site where I provide tailor made services for all of you job hunting and looking for careers advice. www.sgcareerscanbfun.wordpress.com. I have also recently developed my own webshow sgcareers and spoken about some some topics linked to careers advice and education. I hope to do more of these in the future so please watch this space!! 

5. Writing - I love to write and if anyone already reads my posts for my blogs you will already know about this. Writing is a great passion for me it allows me to express my opinions on a range of topics etc and display why I am passionate about something or why I think something isn't right etc. I also feel if I don't write I am not at my best. We may have many thoughts going on in that brain of ours and we all express our emotions differently. For me expressing my emotions through writing seems to be the best way for me. 

These are just some of the things I love to find out more about sgcareers please contact me at sgcareers27@yahoo.com. Follow me on twitter at @sgcareers27 or visit and like my facebook page  https://www.facebook.com/pages/SGCareers/147585885401916. 

Thanks 

Soma x 

How much do we really know about mental Illness and how much is it affecting the current youth of today?

I studied Psychology and have always been interested in human behaviour but I recently saw a documentary which made me think why do we still try and almost ignore the big factor that is mental illness.

So what has prompted me to feel this way, I recently saw a documentary called "Failed by the NHS" it was aired on the BBC Three and looked at a young man who has actually documented his journey with a mental Illness on you tube. At first when I started watching it I thought he was only talking about his illness but he decided to explore and meet many other young people who have struggled with mental illness and ultimately felt as though the current NHS system and other systems like CAMS etc didn't do enough to help them. The programme looked at depression,suicide,anxiety disorders and anorexia etc.

After I graduated from University I decided to volunteer for a charity called Mind and helped in their drop in centre. Dealing with patients who had depression,schizophrenia,anxiety disorders, bipolar etc. I was only 23 when I worked there and I remember my first day being a scary experience not because I was scared of  the people but in the back of my head thinking just because they have a mental health problem people look at these individuals like freaks instead of understanding reasons behind it. What also scared me is it made me realise how much in control I was of my emotions whether this be my anger, sadness etc. Hardly any of the people who came to this centre had this and many of them lived alone and had been unable to work for a number of years. Part of them surviving was coming to the centre and meeting others who also had mental health problems and didn't judge them including the staff there who were so quirky. Clients did get aggressive due to their health and were sometimes rude but it made me think their emotions and the way they think are much more harder to control and this wasn't their fault. Amongst the medication they took to help calm them down the social aspects of the club kept these patients going.

Linking this back to youth of today I worked with Adults in Mind but if mental Illness is spotted in your earlier years shouldn't life be a little easier as an adult !! Well in theory we would hope so right? However many young people are still falling through the cracks. The BBC documentary I saw highlighted a couple factors where the NHS fails the first points of call which are the GP or the emergency room. I am sure this is true and properly does mean that many people are committing suicide as highlighted in this programme because their so called cry for helps aren't heard. So what can we as a nation actually do? What I really liked about this documentary is this young man was trying educate us. I think we sometimes think "that's never not going to happen to us now is it?" One in four of us may suffer from a mental Illness  according to statistics from the mental health foundation. I will admit freely and without shame I have been depressed not severely because thankfully my GP identified I wasn't a danger to myself and others and it was during a bad patch at work. He also didn't wanted to prescribe medication to me just for the sack of it. So many people may be unnecessarily taking anti depressants to help cure the stresses of their life but does it actual help especially if it as my GP refereed to my situation was "reactive".  So  a situation where you are very upset but you aren't suicidal or harmful to others etc. Surely its more dangerous to be prescribing drugs which are very strong for the wrong reasons.

Mental Illness shouldn't be a Stigma in fact I think teenagers should learn more about it during PHSE(Personal,Health and Social Education) The impact of things like cyber bullying and technology makes its now easier for many teens to become depressed. If a young person hears a voice they are not weird and they need to understand its the kind of thing that needs to dealt with. I remember this very sweet boy I worked with he had no friends at school he would come and see me during lunchtimes. I told him he needed to stop doing this, when I looked into his case history the teachers described him as "odd". This young man had many problems at home and he would hum and talk to himself when alone he sometimes displayed pouts of anger at home and his family sometimes ignored his presence. I did inform my concerns to a teacher in the school stating I am pretty sure he has a mental health Illness, he was even seen by the child psychologist. I am not sure what the outcome of this boy was but the school were keen to get rid of him and make sure he didn't stay there for sixth form. I felt really upset by this because I don't think they even wanted to understand his problem. They saw his unusual personality as a hindrance to the school and wasn't looking out for his welfare at all. A example of how as a careers adviser I was powerless to help a boy who was ultimately distressed. What disturbs me about this incident is I am sure he properly isn't the only young person who is seen as burden to schools. People don't want to understand how scary mental illness could be for a young person who has no idea why they may hear a voice or see things that shouldn't in theory be there. Isn't it our job as adults to help point them towards empathetic and trained individuals who can help them. However until better training and understanding of mental illnesses is dealt  I fear this with this won't happen. This is something the government needs to do something about sooner rather then later.

So much do we know about mental health? I studied mental health at university and I must say I pleased to say I have. I don't think its something to be shameful about I may not suffer from mental illness but that doesn't mean I should be smug and say I never will because I just don't know. The main thing I think we need to know is to keep educating ourselves about mental illness. Just because it's an illness we can't see doesn't mean we shouldn't do something about it. If you are someone who works with young people and suspect they may have a mental health problem don't ignore it. Referrals to appropriate people whether this be school psychologists, psychiatrists etc should be actioned because helping a young person at a crucial point could make all the difference. I would also say untill we break stigma of mental ilness and actually talk to others about it the barriers surrounding it will still exist.

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Being Grateful for all the good things!!

We all moan about our life from time to time but we should all remember the things that make our life great!! For me this is my family, friends and the fact I am lucky to have alot of people who love me for who I am as a person. I think we should always love each other for who we truly are as that is how god created us.

As individuals we all have bad days, we get angry, annoyed and are all selfish to some degree but if you feel guilty about your bad behaviour guess that's your conscience's way of telling you something. Well mine does if I do something bad lol!! Or was that just because my mum was quite scary when I was a child and thus I have kept a bit of that with me even as a adult lol!!

I have been thinking alot about all the good things in my life. There is alot of love from the people in my life. I also care about about many people and know many fab people. I was thinking about all the times when people irritate me because they seem too consumed with their lives. However what right to have to pass that judgement. As someone who believes in the man upstairs I think he is the only one who can judge them not me. Also recently I have been thinking about how we take so many things for granted. Our family, our house and our health our youthfulness etc. We all think all these things will last forever but life doesn't work like that. As all things ultimately have to come to end, I am not being negative here just realistic. We should all cherish the good things and hold on to the wonderful memories we share with people because life passes by us quicker then we all think.

So whatever you are grateful for remember to love those who truly love you and be thankful that your life has been blessed with so many good things. Yes sometimes when we have a horrible day or argue with a loved one it may not feel like that but life is never as bad as it seems. We just all sometimes get sucked into the drama of life and forgot all that is truly wonderful. So whatever it is that makes you happy take some time to think about it, be grateful and treasure life!! :)!!

These are three words which I have been thinking of all week!!

 This week has been a very busy week for me at work a 3 day has seemed longer then the normal week lol. I like keeping busy but these three words have been buzzing in my head all week and what I think about them. Have been learning many lessons so hope you at least read what I have to say as your take may differ!!

Selfishness- I put a status on my facebook last month "selfishness breeds ugliness". I am not sure where I came up with that one lol. However that word is something I have been thinking alot about. We are all capable of being selfish its all in us and anyone who says they aren't selfish look in the mirror next time you say that lol!! Have you ever sat on train or bus and seen someone who may need that seat more then you but you but not got up!! That doesn't make you a bad person lol but it is selfish. In the same way we may expect  alot from family or loved ones like an expensive gift. Or giving yourself a bigger portion of the dessert you made but a smaller piece to someone else, the list goes on. However I have realised that people can also be selfish in a work context as well not looking out for the welfare of your colleagues and seeing your own needs ahead of theirs is also selfish. Whatever your interpretation of this word its around us all the time and ultimately everyday. 

 Judgement - To be judged by a court of law is one thing but to be judged by others is a regular occurrence. We are judged everyday of our lives. Whether this be the clothes we wear, the university we attend or the area we live in. Its something we have to live with. Everyone handles it differently. For me what makes me annoyed about this word is that we sometimes feel its ok to judge someone without knowing all the facts.  We also all make judgements about others also. That fact that we make a judgement about someone within the first 5 seconds we meet them is quite sad!! This may depend on the individual I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps this makes me nice but I would rather be that then make a false judgement about someone. I really do believe we can learn something from everyone we meet even if they aren't our cup of tea. 

Genuineness - Honesty is something which is very important to me as a person. I believe in order to be honest however you also need to be Genuine with it. I have noticed not just this week but for a long time that so many people pretend to be someone they just aren't. Why can't people be open and honest and show their genuine selves. I have noticed that many people seem to hiding behind a mask that they almost don't want to reveal. What is so bad that they can't be true to themselves and others around them? Its also made me realise I have met many people in my but the number of genuine  people I have met and when I say that I mean very genuine and loyal is a number that can be counted on hands!!

Check out the Careerstylist website

Please check out this really fab website out  http://www.thecareerstylist.com/

This is a really positive website that I came across on twitter. There are some really great videos and tips that may help others think about what they really want from their lives and if they need to change anything!!

I also went on a coaching session with Beth who runs this website. It was a really empowering experience for me. Since I had my session with her I have been more focused about where I want to be and how I can actually get there. If you feel stuck by anything then you should see if coaching and the tips that are on this website could help you. It's really changed how I see myself as I was letting a lack of self belief in my abilities hold me back!! Since I have had this experience I feel that I can really do what I want to and have so much more belief in my capabilities.

It may sound to good to be true but if you take this on with an open mind as I always do with most things, you may be pleasantly surprised. I wanted to tell others about this because its really impacted on me in a good way so wanted to share!! Even if you aren't interested in her coaching this website is such a great resource and should be promoted. :)!!

Have a little respect!!

Respect can mean many different things to many different people. To me respect is about making sure you make time for other people and you respect who they are as an individual and not try to change them. People will always be judgemental you can't stay about from that but as long as you respect the people who show you love and support that should be the most important thing!!

It is also important to have respect for yourself if you don't value yourself as a person and look at all the qualities you have how can you be expected to respect anyone else. Society says that many of the youth of today don't respect their elders and maybe this is partly true. However if you aren't taught to show care and respect for others how can learn respect!! Many young people don't feel teachers care for them and so their attitude is I have no right to show any respect.This mentality isn't right but it is how many youngsters of today feel.

I am currently reading Martin Luther King's autobiography it is a very interesting read and the theme of respect is something which is evident whilst reading it. People didn't treat people equally durning that time and in some cases issues of inequality, racism and class and gender discrimination are still ongoing in some parts of the world. Respect for me is about seeing everyone as an individual person and fundamentally a human being. We should respect people's religious beliefs, sexuality and gender. Individual societies have different rules but if you show respect to others as people you should gain that respect in return.